More on the Terri Schiavo case

Amongst the things which are really bothering me about this case are the arguments that “her husband has the right to make this decision for her and the parents should butt out”. Excuse me? Where in one’s wedding vows (which he’s already broken) does it say “and my family is no longer my family”? I’ve posed the question on more than one discussion board asking what people’s response would be to this if the genders were reversed.

What if it were Michael Schiavo lying there, rather than Terri? What if SHE were refusing to get a divorce because of her “Catholocism”, but was living with, engaged to, and had children with someone else? What if she’d been trying for years to have HIS feeding tube removed and was the only person who was saying he wouldn’t want to live like that? Take the entire situation and simply flip the genders and how do you think most of those who are screaming about “a husband’s rights” would be yelling then?

So far no one who is pro-starvation has bothered to answer this one. But I have a pretty good idea what I think they’d be yelling….. actually, they probably wouldn’t, because the judge involved would likely have transferred custody to his parents long before now. But if this HAD gotten this far, do you think the majority of those yelling “husband’s rights” on behalf of a man who by all standards of behavior has stopped being her husband and is in fact someone else’s would be yelling “wife’s rights”? I doubt it. In fact I suspect their cries would be more along the line of: “harlot”, “whore”, “jezebel”, “tramp”. Add in a financial court settlement designated for rehabilitative therapy — and the immediate end to any such attempts after getting the money, and you could add in: “gold-digger”, “murderer for hire” and a variety of other cries of wrong-doing.

This bizarre underlying notion so many seem to have that when a woman marries, she becomes a part of her husband and his family and essentially gives up strong links to her own — but he still is exactly who he was before the wedding explains an awful lot to me about why so many men seem to be so happy in their marriages (they haven’t lost themselves in the process) and so many of the women I know seem to be so unhappy right down to the core of their being (because they’ve left so much of themself behind — or at least were expected to). Just seems totally unreasonable to me.

We’ve come a long way from Blackstone’s Commentaries of 1765, but it seems many out there still think that when a woman marries, she ceases to exist other than as an extension of her husband — and that’s a shame and Terri Schiavo is now dying because of it.

The latest news this morning is that “Terri Schiavo’s tongue and eyes were bleeding and her skin was flaking off, said Barbara Weller, the Schindlers’ attorney”

I feel sick.


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