Disheartened, discontented, disturbed, voluntarily disowned.

Hi all,

As anyone who’s been in here knows, I have Stage IV metastatic lobular breast cancer.  For the most part, I’m doing surprisingly well for almost 3 years out on this crap.  But I’m exhausted much of the time and recently started getting winded when going up stairs — as someone with asthma, that’s not unusual — other than it doesn’t come with the wheezing of asthma.  So there’s more testing coming down the pike.

In the meantime, I am grateful to have excellent health insurance — and at the same time  horrified by the recent election and the actions that have been taken since.  The ACA is not perfect, but within that imperfection are some very good things…  the removal of lifetime limits, the removal of pre-existing conditions clauses, and the ability of parents to keep their offspring on long enough for them to get through college and even grad school — all of which are likely going away.  That first one is a very big deal for me personally — between all the surgery, 8 rounds of chemo, lots of testing, etc. – well, my insurance company has been billed “bigly”.  So the reinstatement of lifetime coverage limits could quite literally hasten my demise.

And the kicker?  I have family members and so-called “friends” who voted for that.  They literally stated that revoking the ACA was one of the reasons (if not the primary one) that they voted in the groper-in-chief/die Gropenfuhrer.  From my perspective, they essentially voted for me to die….. and not one of them “gets” why I’m angry, or why this disturbs me so much…. not one.  In fact, they expect me to show up for family gatherings and act like everything is just fine and hunky dory….  and I’m not going to do it.  I just don’t have it in me to sit across a table from someone who literally voted for people like me to die and make small talk and pretend that’s okay….  just don’t.

Thank you for reading this, I just really needed to vent this.  Oh, and some whiney little twit reported my Placidair Moonbat ID on facebook as “not a real name” and got me locked out….  what really sucks?  I suspect a family member who was ticked off because I dared to be ticked off and show it……  yeah, really.

In the meantime, I’m going to keep working on the bucket list, and try to move out of the U.S. — because this just isn’t the country I was raised to believe it was any more.  Instead of the open, free and caring place it is vaunted to be, it is a cold, calculating, petty, and money grubbing place run by control freaks and profiteers, and I just don’t want to be here.  I have no intention of spending whatever time I have left in this World watching this country devolve into some evil serfdom where the few at the top own and run everything and the rest of us are expected to pay for the privilege of letting them pick our pockets and hoard ever more.   That Trump voters didn’t pay any attention to the massive land grab that was the mortgage crisis (let them sell their homes to the bank and rent them back – literally what Romney said) — a blatant attempt at turning people into serfs, instead of landowners…. and all of the other stunts the republicans have pulled in the last 40 years trying to grab more and pay less for it….  and they still voted for more of that…..  I don’t understand that, and quite frankly I hope I never do.

I hope you’re all having some fun out there.  Be well, be happy, but most of all be kind.

Yeah, it’s been a while…. again

Thought I’d do a quick update — in case anyone is still reading/following.  The cancer saga continues.  It’s stage 4.  Because my cancer is highly estrogen receptive I had my ovaries removed.  They found cancer in both ovaries and both Fallopian tubes.  We can’t tell where else it may be, because it did not show on a pre-surgical PET scan, nor an MRI, but got those puppies into a lab and YUP cancer cells.  No discrete tumors, but scattered cells.  It may well be that that is the status of my body in general.  The good news?  A liver biopsy did not show cancer cells, so hopefully the small sample of tissue is definitive of the entire organ.

I just keep rolling along, taking the meds I can tolerate (we tried some that I couldn’t and had to stop) and doing everything I can holistically.  Diet, herbs, vitamins, exercise, etc.  Since it’s impossible to tell where it is without biopsying everything (not possible), or until something else goes wrong, and it appears to be slow growing — I am not likely to know if I have 10 minutes, or another 40 years…..  it will just always be part of my life from now on.

The scary part for me is wondering how many people are out there walking around with similar situations, and no clue that it’s even possible?  I’m told this is “rare” and usually not diagnosed until someone is in their 60s…. well, mine showed up at 54…  and I have to wonder — is it really that rare, or do they just not find it?  It could potentially be quite common, just unseen and undiagnosed with people being diagnosed with other things because cancer that scatters cells all over isn’t anything people are aware of even existing, much less there being a good mechanism for finding it.  Had it not been for those 2 teeny, tiny tumors in my breasts — which were 2 kinds of cancer….  I still, almost 3 years later, would not know I had this, would not be being treated (such as that is, which isn’t much), and would just be wondering why I feel like crap all the time.  I’ve been unwell for decades before this diagnosis, and diagnosed with a bunch of other stuff over the years — all of which may well be valid on their own… or was all that symptomatic of my body attacking scattered cancer cells and in so doing making me feel like hell?   I’ll likely never know for sure.

In the meantime, I’m doing the best I can, working on the “bucket list” and trying to do whatever I can to try to knock this nastiness into remission.  Hopefully I’ll get there.

For those who don’t know — once you’re classified as “Stage IV” you’re labelled as “terminal” and they pretty much stop trying to cure the cancer and only try to slow it down….  yeah, really.   I’m not okay with that, not okay with that at all …  so I’m trying to research as much as I can and do what I can to help myself — we’ll see how that goes.

In the meantime – I hope you’re all doing well out there, and my apologies for not posting.  Next post will be about politics….  I hope — because DAMN there’s just sooooo much fodder right now!  Wholly smokes this country has gone berserk…  Trump?  TRUMP?  WTF?!?!?!?!?!?   I understand the discontent out there, but supporting someone who’s benefited from what ails the country as a whole and who wants to do MORE of that….  I’m seriously thinking a good percentage of our populace is now suffering from Stockholm Syndrome…..  and we need to snap the hell out of it.

Oh yeah, if anyone is still out there – could you please comment, rate, do SOMETHING so that I know that?  Otherwise there’s really no point in further ramblings here.

Dear Organizing for Action….

I have now unsubscribed from your email.   Why?  Because I’m tired of the “win time with the President”, “win time with the candidate”…. “win time with ___________” emails.   Why?  Because I think raffling off time with our government officials cheapens the democratic process.  Because I think the notion of needing to “win a lottery” in order to have lunch with a politician cheapens the political process.

Because I’m appalled at the notion that our government, and it’s agents, have become so cheesy and “buyable” that the US Government is turning into a sleezy “reality show”, instead of the venerable institution that it should be.   Because I expect more class than that from my representatives.

Don’t get me wrong — I still fervently believe that President Obama was a far better choice than any of his opposition, not a perfect choice, but a far better one.  But I’m finding this cheapening of access to our representatives to be grossly offensive, and ethically questionable — and I want nothing to do with it.   Not now, not ever.

But if there were ever any question that we need major campaign finance reform in this country — the raffling off of politician’s time to their constituents is proof positive that we do.

Phishers, you just screwed up……

Minding my own business.  Watching the inaugural parade on TV.  Phone rings…..   They confirm my phone number and then tell me they’re from “technical support for Windows”…. ????   I ask what company…… “windows”……   yeah….. SCAM!   So now I’m working on getting the number traced and getting whoever that was put out of “business”.   But with the very thick Indian accent, I’m guessing they’re not in this country.

Watch out folks…. the creeps are out there.   If they ARE in the US, I’m going to do everything I can to help nail their butts.

People in Hurricane Zones and Tornado Alleys who vote for Romney are Morons.

Romney wants to kill FEMA

I’m sorry, make that COMPLETE morons….

Vote the Obstructionist Bastards Out!

Every constructive bill that has come up during the current administration has been put forward by Democrats. And every one has been blocked by Republicans determined to not have anything positive happen while President Obama is in office. In the apparent hope that the voting populace is too dumb to look beyond the bleak economy at what’s actually keeping it that way.

Look at the “Bring Jobs Home” Bill as a prime example. http://www.govtrack.us/congress/bills/112/s3364 This bill would have reversed the tax incentive that helped send jobs overseas, instead giving the breaks to companies bringing jobs back into the US — helping to reverse the outsourcing trend. The Republicans have enough people to have blocked it from even reaching a vote. It failed even cloture — which means they blocked it being voted on at all.

All Democrats voted for bringing the Bill to a vote, only 4 of the Republicans did (and we don’t know whether they’d have voted for the Bill once brought to a vote, or not — but I’d like to think they would have). The only 4 who broke with the Republicans “just say ‘no’ to anything that might help while Obama is in office” blockade are Dean Heller (R); Nevada; Susan Collins (R), Maine; Olympia Snowe (R), Maine; and Scott Brown (R), Massachusetts. And there may be other reasons to vote/not vote for the 4 of them if they’re running this term — but every other Republican should be voted out — EVERY ONE OF THEM. Blocking any bill that would help bring jobs back to this country because you don’t like the President and would rather see the country crumble than improve under his watch is nothing less than treasonous IMO, and they should be punished accordingly….. starting with being drummed out of office.

Here is a link to the record on who voted for and against it even being brought to a vote: http://www.govtrack.us/congress/votes/112-2012/s181. IMO every one of those who voted against even voting on this act should be voted out of office.

Gifts that Give Twice

As we get ready to blow the budgets this year, we can use our gift giving to support causes we care about while giving great gifts.

The Greater Good Store has tabs for different causes. Your purchases generate funds for the cause.

I see quite a few items that people I know would love, so will definitely be doing some of my shopping here this year.

How about you?

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